‘The ward felt like a prison’: How my child was devastated by a healthcare system intended to help her
The awareness came to me with blunt clarity that the mental health facility caring for my teenager echoed a locked ward.
She had had faith unquestioningly in the medical staff. We had shared that belief. Everything altered drastically when she was transferred from our area facility to the locked ward at the mental health center.
During our final moments, she stepped calmly to the patient van with me and the play specialist, who squeezed her tightly before sending us off.
The moment the transport entrance opened at the destination facility, the clinical facility appeared formidable. We were greeted by staff who guided us up steps through air-locked portals, with each door shutting securely behind us as the staff member waited for proper closure before unlocking the next.
We entered a completely sealed space that was devoid of daylight, with my eyes quickly hurting from the harsh overhead lighting. They guided us to a central room that was fully windowed – what staff referred to as the “goldfish bowl”.
The Devastating Separation
Ruth’s hand found my hand, head down as they told me it was time for me to go. “But I hadn’t helped her unpack into her room or greeted the team yet,” was met with: “Parents aren’t allowed on the ward.”
After repeating my request, they granted me a quick viewing to her room, but insisted I leave right away afterward, citing hospital regulations.
To this day, I wake up during the night with my heart racing anxiously while revisiting that walk through the communal zone to Ruth’s designated room. The area contained only a solitary sleeping area and synthetic table, with windows that couldn’t open.
The voices became faint as they told me about the constant observation by changing attendants. I put her luggage on the floor, while Ruth sat terrified on the bed before I was escorted away.
In an instant, I was locked beyond the double-locked doors, holding a paper that specified my visitation with my daughter to mere sixty minutes, twice weekly.
What did I allow to occur?
A Devastating Outcome
{Our daughter, our girl, died on Valentine’s Day 2022 at 18.29 on the pediatric critical care ward at John Radcliffe hospital in the location. She was transferred urgently from the treatment center, an government-contracted but privately run children’s mental health center, where she had been allowed to harm herself lethally 48 hours before.|Our Ruth died on February 14, 2022 at evening in the {pediatric intensive care unit|
